Monday, May 11, 2009

what lies on the other side...

So right now I'm in a situation that I want to get out of but I'm terrified of what lies on the other side of the get away. I'm at the point in my life where I'm ready to settle down, but not settle. I want it all and I feel I deserve it. Simultaneously I don't want to trade one set of problems/flaws for another.
Current set of problems: insecurity, cheapassness, non-listener, unsupportive, just to name a few. But I could possibly mold this lump of clay into something close to what i want, BUT who has the time or patience it takes to mold... I want something finished, complete, who only needs a complimentary vase or bowl to make the look make sense.
On a side note, I know I am not where I need to be, physically, mentally nor spiritually. So instead of trading problems I need to truly focus on me. Figure me out, be the best woman I can be, stop being so damn lazy, workout, go to church, eat right, do all the things I have been putting off. IT IS TIME. Maybe after I'm there or while I'm on my path to self discovery, someone will come along and make it make sense for me. What the hell do I have to lose. I can only gain! And I am worth it.