what lies on the other side...

So right now I'm in a situation that I want to get out of but I'm terrified of what lies on the other side of the get away. I'm at the point in my life where I'm ready to settle down, but not settle. I want it all and I feel I deserve it. Simultaneously I don't want to trade one set of problems/flaws for another.
Current set of problems: insecurity, cheapassness, non-listener, unsupportive, just to name a few. But I could possibly mold this lump of clay into something close to what i want, BUT who has the time or patience it takes to mold... I want something finished, complete, who only needs a complimentary vase or bowl to make the look make sense.
On a side note, I know I am not where I need to be, physically, mentally nor spiritually. So instead of trading problems I need to truly focus on me. Figure me out, be the best woman I can be, stop being so damn lazy, workout, go to church, eat right, do all the things I have been putting off. IT IS TIME. Maybe after I'm there or while I'm on my path to self discovery, someone will come along and make it make sense for me. What the hell do I have to lose. I can only gain! And I am worth it.

oldie but goodie ~ Enjoy!~

Lost on a Road to 30

So I'm embarking on my 28th birthday(ugh) and I'm feeling rather unenthusiastic! "I'm getting old" is becoming my new catch phrase and I'm over it. I know that 28 is not "old" by far but I have so many anxieties about it! There are so many goals that I thought I would have accomplished by now and I feel miles and miles away from my destiny. Also I have no idea what I want to do professionally. I have millions of ideas but no idea how to execute them nor the funds. I know that I am a creative person and I should be doing "something" creative, but what that is I have ABSOLUTELY no clue! I'm constantly doubting myself and my talents and I'm not sure where that stems from... it's a complete mystery. I pray every day and night for direction and I still feel lost...
On top of this I'm getting pressure from my 'Folks' to get married and have kids! That's toooooo much for me to deal with! I'm entirely too selfish right now to even consider the thought of having children, I need to get me and my wants out of the way first.
I just never thought I'd be that 28 year old woman that everybody is asking "What's Dante' up to, I can't believe she's not married"
Honestly I KNOW in my heart that there is something special in me, I've felt it all my life but I just want to bring it out!

"Paging the Fabulous Dante', please come to life, your party is waiting!"

"Is this real life"

This is one of the funniest youtube clips I've ever come across!!! Apparently he is still high off the anesthesia! Fucking hilarious!!! oh and peep how homie sits up and screams for no damn reason...ha! Classic.

I Love this Man

Speechless

Lost and Found

So did anyone lose an ass or a thigh lastnight? If so I think I found them on my body this morning. I swear I went to bed weighing somewhere around thick woke up weighing a biscuit away from fat! WTF MaN???? Don't get me wrong I still look good in my clothes, however they are getting tighter as we speak!
Anyone got tips on how to drop this mysterious weight I gained? I mean I know the basics; eating right, exercise, blah blah. But I need a jump start, cuz I need to be fine by MARCH 20th(my b-day), and for the rest of my life. So if have any suggestions, GIVE ME ALL YOU GOT!!!

Thoughtaholic

(oldie but goodie)

Lost...

I feel lost within myself, meaning I am so consumed with my thoughts sometimes I get lost in them. I think and over think and rethink and think it over and think it through and think about it later. So much so that I get a headache. I just wanna turn it off! I don't wanna think about a damn thing!

My only escape is to sleep and then I dream about it, it's too much. I feel blessed that I have the ability to see things from many perspectives and I am extremely open-minded but shit I wish there was an on and off switch for the amount of thoughts that swirl around in my brain!!

someone help, I need to go to rehab for overthinkers! I'm a thinkaholic, a thought addict, I can't kick the stuff! What I am I supposed to do???

Somebody help before I over-dose or should I say overthink...There I go again

Feedback Pleeeeaassee!!!

Soooo, I'm in the process of starting an online boutique and I'm looking for insight from the public as to what YOU would like to see on a website such as this.
- Well first let me give you a brief description of what will be sold: women's jeans, accessories, and shoes to start, possibly some hot t-shirts, primarily from relatively unknown designers, (everybody deserves some shine).

Tell me what you think, please give me some suggestions~!

'Preciate ya!

shut up already!!!!!!!!!!

Question: Do you have a co-worker that drives you NUTZ? They have so much to say about nothing, always in your face about nothing! Always in your office telling you about somebody not doin their job, blah, blah, blah, bitch, bitch, bitch. Bitch BYE!!!!!!!

needed to vent, she is talking to me as we speak...old hoe!

HELLO WORLD

It's me bitches!

My very first blog...how exciting. Anyways, a lil about me!

20 something, black female with a wealth of knowledge. Some of it useful, some of it complete bullshit! lol
I love to curse as you can see... I love elipses, I'm random as hell. Humble, shy, quiet, introvert. Damn I sound boring. But really I love people and I'm really fun-loving and sweet(sometimes)! Charismatic, great listener, I'm pretty damn SPECIAL!!!

I have a passion for fashion, music and LOVE. I love being in love.
I have a so called boys name...whateva! I'm from Kansas of all places(yes there are black people in Kansas) and my family and close friends mean the world to me!

Until I feel like typing again...smooches bitches~(don't take it personal, I love bitches)